How to say less, so your child learns to say more.

It might come as a surprise, but a really key way to help your child talk more is for you to say less. There is a danger that in trying to encourage language development, we become overwhelming, non-stop narrators that no one is paying attention to.

While providing plenty of language models and telling your child what’s happening and talking about what’s going on is essential for helping children learn how to talk and communicate with us, it’s only one piece of the puzzle.

A well placed pause can have a very surprising impact. By creating some space and allowing a brief moment of silence, some remarkable things can happen:

• Your child has time to process what you’ve said

• Your child has time to think about how they might like to respond

• Your child then has time to actually make their response.

There is huge value in pausing, so much so that I encourage all the families I work with to say something and then pause, as routine. Counting to 10 in your head is a good plan, particularly if you find being comfortable in silence a challenge (and let’s face it, who doesn’t?).

Try something like this:

Adult: ‘oh look! A car’

(PAUSE)

Child: may or may not respond

Adult: ‘this car is fast’

(PAUSE)

Child: may or may not respond

By including pauses in this way, and them becoming a natural part of your communication, your child has the space to respond and the opportunity to communicate with you. And they might surprise you!

If you need a demonstration, check out my Instagram page (link below) for a quick video of me pausing in one of my therapy sessions, and see the way the little boy I’m working with communicates with me.